Thanks for Stopping By

Welcome to my blog, Pastoral Parenting. I hope to share with you some things I have learned as a parent and from my studies in pastoral care and developmental psychology.

Parenting is the hardest job in the world for which we receive no formal training. I like to say we are all raised by unskilled labor! We are taught to attach closely to our newborns, but once we have--and have fallen deeply in love--no one ever tells us that it is just as important to learn how to detach and let them go.

I also write a weekly reflection on Scripture called "Come and See" and I often incorporate parenting topics into these reflections. They are written from my vantage point as a Christian, but I try to make my writing universally applicable, the way I believe Christ wants me to. This blog will rely on our common Spirit--no preaching, just sharing the love.

By way of disclaimer, I am not a licensed therapist. I have a Master of Arts degree in Spiritual and Pastoral Care from Loyola University in Maryland and wrote my thesis on Pastoral Parenting. In a phrase, I use my head, but speak from my heart. I also believe that a healthy sense of humor goes a long way to help keep us sane, so I hope to share some of that as well. If you or your child is really struggling, I strongly encourage you to seek the help of a family therapist.

Blessings on you and your children!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Holi-daze!

Okay, where has the last month gone? Where has the last year gone? If you are Christian, or celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then you know where my last month has gone. And if you are in the US, add on top of that Thanksgiving just a few weeks before and whammo--it's "HOLI-DAZE!" yet again.

Just a few ideas to share to offset the commercialism of this time of year. I heard about one family's wonderful Chanukah tradition that could apply to any gift-giving time. For the last day of Chanukah, the parents would ask each of their children to pick a charity to which they would like their parents to donate in the child's name. So instead of receiving a gift that day, the children would make a charitable donation instead.

I think this is a great idea. If you are not done your shopping quite yet, you may want to ask your children to pick something on their list to forego and make a donation instead--it could be the local SPCA or a homeless shelter.  The key is that the children are making some sacrifice. I also would recommend, particularly if your kids are young, to keep the charities local and see if you and your child can make the donation in person.  

Even if you have finished your shopping, think about doing something charitable the week after Christmas, when the kids are out of school.  Tear them away from their new video games and go work at a soup kitchen. If your kids are very young, have them make New Year's cards for a local nursing home. Make it a learning opportunity and have them count out spare change and take it to the local pet shelter. Be creative.

For those of you who are Christian, here's another idea. If you have young children, sometime over the next week or so, have a conversation about what it means for us to receive gifts on Jesus’ birthday. Yes, the story of the Magi is cited as the source of this tradition; but focus instead on the shepherds.  What did they bring? Their courage, their openness, their simplicity…they brought themselves. Talk about what it means to bring ourselves as gift...to others and to God.

Whatever holiday you celebrate this time of year, or even if you don't have a winter holiday tradition, make sure to give the greatest gift you have to give your children--your time. Blessings on your family!
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