Thanks for Stopping By

Welcome to my blog, Pastoral Parenting. I hope to share with you some things I have learned as a parent and from my studies in pastoral care and developmental psychology.

Parenting is the hardest job in the world for which we receive no formal training. I like to say we are all raised by unskilled labor! We are taught to attach closely to our newborns, but once we have--and have fallen deeply in love--no one ever tells us that it is just as important to learn how to detach and let them go.

I also write a weekly reflection on Scripture called "Come and See" and I often incorporate parenting topics into these reflections. They are written from my vantage point as a Christian, but I try to make my writing universally applicable, the way I believe Christ wants me to. This blog will rely on our common Spirit--no preaching, just sharing the love.

By way of disclaimer, I am not a licensed therapist. I have a Master of Arts degree in Spiritual and Pastoral Care from Loyola University in Maryland and wrote my thesis on Pastoral Parenting. In a phrase, I use my head, but speak from my heart. I also believe that a healthy sense of humor goes a long way to help keep us sane, so I hope to share some of that as well. If you or your child is really struggling, I strongly encourage you to seek the help of a family therapist.

Blessings on you and your children!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Happy New Year!

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions—I’m in favor of “New Morning” resolutions instead, or even better, as Thomas Merton once wrote:  “It is morning, afternoon, or evening.  Begin.” But do consider this one: “I will pay attention this year.”

This encompasses a lot of what resolutions are about, whether you’re looking to be a better parent, to take better care of your body through diet and exercise, or to be a more spiritual or giving person; whether you are trying to foster stronger personal relationships or be more successful in your studies or professional life.  

Paying attention is active, but not anxious; it is engaged, but not on edge.  It is openness to experience whatever is given that day as gift, so it is also without judgment.  Buddhists call this grace “mindfulness.” 

Set aside a few minutes each day around lunchtime and take a nonjudgmental look at how you paid attention that morning. See where you might have encountered the Spirit even if the morning was seemingly uneventful or difficult.  Be thankful. Consider what’s ahead that afternoon and evening and when you may be challenged to remain aware. Pray specifically for help in that situation. The more you do this, the easier the habit becomes, and the more you will see the Spirit at work in your life. 

My prayers for a happy, open, and aware 2012!


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