Thanks for Stopping By

Welcome to my blog, Pastoral Parenting. I hope to share with you some things I have learned as a parent and from my studies in pastoral care and developmental psychology.

Parenting is the hardest job in the world for which we receive no formal training. I like to say we are all raised by unskilled labor! We are taught to attach closely to our newborns, but once we have--and have fallen deeply in love--no one ever tells us that it is just as important to learn how to detach and let them go.

I also write a weekly reflection on Scripture called "Come and See" and I often incorporate parenting topics into these reflections. They are written from my vantage point as a Christian, but I try to make my writing universally applicable, the way I believe Christ wants me to. This blog will rely on our common Spirit--no preaching, just sharing the love.

By way of disclaimer, I am not a licensed therapist. I have a Master of Arts degree in Spiritual and Pastoral Care from Loyola University in Maryland and wrote my thesis on Pastoral Parenting. In a phrase, I use my head, but speak from my heart. I also believe that a healthy sense of humor goes a long way to help keep us sane, so I hope to share some of that as well. If you or your child is really struggling, I strongly encourage you to seek the help of a family therapist.

Blessings on you and your children!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

While we are on the subject of text messages...

I give presentations to parents of incoming college freshman about letting go, and here is something I share with them.

If your kids are older or away in college or in the work force, text messaging is a great way to keep in touch--as long as you don't overdo it. Occasional messages to say "I love you."... "I hope you are having a great day."... "Good luck on your test."..."Our phone number hasn't changed."... Texting is quick, unintrusive, and a good way to let your child know they are in your heart.

At the end of my son's freshman year in college, his phone gave out (I actually think he dropped it in the toilet!) It was the same phone we had gotten for him when he was 16, so it was probably time for a new one anyway. But he was very hesitant to give it up and wanted to see if we could get it fixed.  It was falling apart and our plan allowed for a free new phone, so I couldn't figure out why he was so reluctant. He finally told me: he had saved the text messages I had sent him that first year! (This always gets a big "ahhh" response from the parents at the presentations! ) I assured him I would continue to send him messages and yes, I still do.

When you are not there to hug them, a virtual "text-hug" over the phone might be just what they need.
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