I stopped making New Year's resolutions years ago. By mid-January, I always felt like a failure since most of the resolutions had gone by the wayside. But in recent years, I have been coming up with a "To don't" list (as opposed to a "to do" list) as a means for me to jettison activities that no longer bear fruit.
Now, most self-help books will tell you to put things in positive terms, e.g., "I will take better care of myself" as opposed to "I will never eat anything fattening ever again!" This is NOT what I am talking about.
I am suggesting that this last week before the new year, we reassess the things that take our time and energy to see if there are some activities or obligations that we can take off the list altogether. We get into the habit of saying "yes" to so many requests that we don't have time for our families, much less ourselves.
Now for some, this might seem like an impossible task. You may believe there is absolutely nothing you can take off the list. That's how I felt too. But what I came to find (and still find) is that a lot of what I believe I "have to do" has more to do with my need for control than real necessity. People become so used to thinking..."Oh, she'll take care of that," or "He always does this" that we get stuck in a pattern of being the "go-to" guy or gal.
Challenge yourself over the next few days to think about how you spend your time. If you don't know, make a conscious effort to pay attention and keep a daily record for a day or two. Most of us don't have the luxury of letting go of much, but the things you choose to do should be things that feed your soul.
Stand in front of a mirror and get into a new habit: saying that tiny little word, "no." The more you say it, the easier it becomes!
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